Moving as a Christmas present? That'll work..

Sometime in the next few months I will be moving. It might be a twenty minute jaunt down the road to Forest grove/Cornelius, but if all goes well it’s going to be a few hour drive up to Seattle. Yes. Yes. Seattle. It’s such a long ways away from everyone I know. No friends no family to lean on. It’s a scary thought. But in the end I think it will be good all around. I think the opportunity to get our lives in order is something that I just cannot pass up.

Things are just too stressed out here at home. Every time my roommates open their door my entire body tenses up, and I’m terrified that they’ve found something new to be mad at me about. 

I’m tired of having to put a towel over the bottom of their door so I don’t have to smell the smoke. I’m tired of hearing the thumping from the garage at 11:30pm. I’m tired of not being able to put my daughter in her bed because they think that it’s okay to play Rock band at midnight, even though they KNOW her room is right next to theirs. I’m tired of having to complain about these things, and being too afraid to say anything to the people I live with because I don’t want to deal with the drama that will follow.

It scares me to know that on any given night there could be anywhere from 2-5 strangers… people I’ve never meet, in my house, people who for all I know could show up at my door step and shoot me in the middle of the night. You might think I’m being paranoid about my roommates having friends over, but they were attacked in the last house they lived in. Two big black men showed up at their house with shotguns and tried to break down the door while they sat in the living room. No one got hurt, but the possibility is still there. What else would I think when (at the worse) 4 different cars showed up one night, each staying about 30 minutes, then left…  I’m scared, worried, pissed off, and ready to bolt when the time comes.

I know that my stress is rubbing off on Bella, and I know that it’s a vicious cycle. Daddy gets upset, so Mommy gets upset, then Bella get upset, which upsets Mommy, who upsets Daddy… sensing a pattern here? It’s not a healthy situation, and all I can really say is I can’t wait for the move. Where ever it happens to be.